“The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy” (Touchstone Pictures)
Some books were made to be turned into movies, and some of them weren’t. Douglas Adams’ HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY wasn’t. But it has. And we are all the worse for it. This movie is a screaming, screeching mess and all the muppets in the world can’t save it.
Creatures that look like overgrown muppets are part of the insanity of this film. It all starts with a man named Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman of “Love Actually” naked fame), who is trying to save his home from a demolition crew. The state wants to build an interstate through his property and so his home must go. While waging this battle his new best friend, Ford Perfect (Mos Def), shows up and announces the world is about to be blown to smithereens. Ford manages to transport Arthur and himself on to the space ship used by the world blower uppers and their adventure begins.
The spaceship is manned by huge oily looking creatures (thus the muppet effect) who eject Ford and Arthur into space. There they are rescued by Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell) and a depressed robot named Marvin (voiced by Alan Rickman). There is also a girl named Trillian (Zooey Deschanel) on board.
Across the universe they fly looking for the answer to life. Its 42. And hanging on to their towels, which are some sort of requisite material for their flight. I didn’t understand any of this and I didn’t care about any of this.
The special effects are cheesy, the actors are lame, and the plot is insane. Now ask me what I did like about the movie. Two things. There is an opening number in which dolphins are revealed to be the smartest creatures on earth. As they get the hell out of dodge before the earth explodes they sing a good-bye titled “So long and thanks for the fish.” I loved it!
I also liked Alan Rickman as the depressed robot. He was funny. So funny that he didn’t belong in this movie. Rockwell, Deschanel and “long time, no hit” John Malkovich did.
The film is rated PG for mild profanity and comic violence.
I kept wondering where the “guide” in this film was. I couldn’t find it and was “lost in space” from beginning to end. This movie just bored me to tears but the mostly college age audience I saw it with were laughing at every inane and insane joke and cheered when the film ended. I was cheering because it had ended.
I only liked two things about this movie and that was Rickman and the dolphins. Two things, so I scored the movie 2 thumbs down out of 10.
