Vampires Suck (20th Century Fox)
And So Does This Movie!
Vampires Suck is a spoof of the Twilight books and movies and shows just how vulnerable they are to being made fun of in a variety of ways. We get stale vampire jokes and sleep inducing werewolf comedy. In short this is a supposedly funny movie that is lacking in any form of high level humor. The title says it all when you add a brief comment Vampires Suck and so does this movie!
In the film Becca Crane (Jenn Proske) moves to the town of Sporks where her father Frank (Diedrich Bader) is the local sheriff. Becca immediately meets Jacob White (Chris Riggi) who has animal magnetism, and Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter) who has pointed teeth. She immediately falls for Edward because he is so different but meeting his family is difficult as they want her blood.
The film follows the Twilight movie plot fairly faithfully with each plot twist setting up its own stupid scene. The jokes and physical comedy are all on the sophomore level but the actors do throw themselves into it all with gusto. Still it is wasted effort as nothing clever is provided and every joke goes for the most obvious follow through or basest level.
The best actor in the film is Proske. She is almost perfect in her take off on Kristin Stewart. She has the constant hair behind the ears motion, the inability to look straight into anyones eyes, the defensive sneer to her lips, and her confusion on which male to choose. It is an actually good performance in a very bad movie.
Lanter captures the look and mood of Robert Pattinson in the film, but he doesnt have the nuances of the role like Proske does. You always know he is playing a character, not being a character.
Ken Jeong and Dave Foley show up in minor roles that add nothing to the fun of the film. Their talent deserves better than this. Still in this economy a paycheck is a paycheck is a paycheck. Every role doesnt have to be Hamlet.
The film is rated PG-13 for profanity, violence, crude jokes and nudity.
Vampires Suck proves it is topical by including jokes about everyone from Lady Gaga to the Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers joke is one of the funniest lines in the film. The Lady Gaga one falls flat.
If you want to have a laugh out loud good time pick another one of the comedies out now. Even those that arent getting rave reviews are miles above this effort.
I scored Vampires Suck a toothless 3 out of 10.
