"The Whole Ten Yards” (Warner Brothers)
In 2000 there was a film titled “The Whole Nine Yards.” It starred Bruce Willis as a hit man, Natasha Henstridge as his ex-wife, Matthew Perry as a family dentist, and Amanda Peet as his dental assistant. All of these characters got their lives intertwined in this truly funny and unique film.
Flash forward to 2004 and a sequel titled “The Whole Ten Yards.” All of the characters are back and absolutely nothing goes right this time. Willis’ hit man is now in hiding and is exploring his feminine side. He has become the Martha Stewart of Mexico. His now wife (Amanda Peet) wants to kill people like her husband does/did but she keeps messing up.
When Oz Oseransky’s (Perry) wife Cynthia (Henstridge) is kidnapped he depends on Jimmy the Tulip (Willis) to get her back. But Jimmy is disinterested. He had rather vacuum or cook a roast. Cynthia has been kidnapped by mob boss Lazlo Gogolak (Kevin Pollak), an ancient man who wants revenge on Jimmy the Tulip for killing his son.
All of this is done with little real humor and an excess of violence. Willis’ character is now completely whacko while Perry’s is a variation of Chandler Bing. It is like Monica got kidnapped and Chandler is going nuts.
The script is impossible to understand. At the end of the film when it is all supposed to come together, nothing does. No characters stand out as true, and no plot point stands out as being valid. Did I say all of this is just a mess
The film is rated PG-13 for violence and profanity. There is even some nudity involving Willis thrown in for good measure.
If you want to enjoy these characters rent the video of “The Whole Nine Yards. This sequel just minimizes the entertainment value that should have been there. If four leading actors were ever wasted by a film, this is it. Willis better start making “Die Hard” sequels and quickly. Perry better ask “Joey” if he can join his cast as Chandler Bing. It is the only role he can play.
I scored “The Whole Ten Yards” a lengthy 4 out of 10.
