“Silent Hill” (TriStar Pictures)
No Thrills On Silent Hill
Fats Domino once sang that he found his thrill on Blueberry Hill Well be glad he didn’t go to Silent Hill instead, for there are no thrills there. “Silent Hill” is one of those over the top horror movies based on a video game that make no sense at all. The really bad thing is you don’t care. All you want is for it to be over.
The film starts with Sharon (Jodelle Ferland – now there’s a marquee name!) having a nightmare. Her panicked parents find her on the edge of a cliff saying “Silent Hill” over and over. It is later revealed that Sharon is adopted and comes from the state of West Virginia where there is a town called Silent Hill. Rose (Radha Mitchell), Sharon’s mother, takes off one night with her daughter determined to go to the city and find the answer to Sharon’s nightmares.
They leave behind Sharon’s father Christopher (Sean Bean), who thinks Sharon should have medical treatment rather than the shock therapy of going back to the town. But Rose presses on and eventually finds the town. Just as they arrive there is an occurrence that causes Rose to wreck the car. When she regains consciousness Sharon is gone.
The rest of the movie is a game of find Sharon. To do this Rose has to literally travel into the bowels of hell. She also has to do battle with a variety of creatures who inhabit this doomed town. She does get some help from a motorcycle cop named Cybil (Laurie Holden).
There are a lot of creepy crawly things in the film but too many of them are just plain laughable instead of horrifying. In one instance Rose comes across a group of creatures in low cut nurses uniforms. They move in a way that suggests a Bob Fosse dance number. Honest that is how it looks.
Alice Krige tries to play it straight as a high priestess of some sort. Alice can rant and rave with the best of them but in this role she just seems silly, and that’s embarrassing to watch. But then the same can be said for Mitchell and Bean. What are good actors like this doing in a movie so stupid!
The movie is rated R for profanity and violence.
If you want horror, stay home and rent “Saw II” or “Hostel.” Those movies are truly creepy and scary. But don’t expect any thrills or chills if you opt to see this one. “Silent Hill” is just one long drawn out search and rescue. The bad thing is when it ends nothing has been solved or resolved. But at least it is over.
I scored “Silent Hill” a mute 3 out of 10.
