Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (Walt Disney Pictures)
Eight Is Enough No, Four Is Enough!
Captain Jack Sparrow sets sail one more time in the third sequel to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. The question is why. The series was already losing steam with the third film, so why dredge up another one The answer is MONEY! There are people who are going to see this movie no matter how bad it is, no matter how they hate it when it ends. These Charlie Browns always think Lucy is going to hold the football and that Johnny Depp is always going to be worth seeing.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides kicks off with Sparrow (Depp) being dragged before King George (Richard Griffiths). He escapes and this makes for a lively jaunt on the roofs of carriages. He even manages to give a nuzzle to a society lady (Judi Dench). But this escapade is brief and is the high point of the film. From this point it is all downhill.
To spice things up Director Rob Marshall, taking the reins from Gore Vernbinski, brings in Penelope Cruz as Angelica, the daughter of Blackbeard (Ian McShane). This is supposed to add some heat to the film but in actuality Cruz and Depp have very little charisma together. Plus she was pregnant while making the movie so a lot of her scenes take place in blurry action sequences and not in romantic interludes with Depp.
There is also the introduction of a missionary named Phillip (Sam Claflin) who develops a relationship with a mermaid named Syrena (Astrid Berges-Frisbee). This additional romance adds nothing to the plot of the movie and is not even an interesting diversion. They are both nice looking but bland in the acting department.
Geoffrey Rush is back as the pirate Captain Barbossa. He is the one who stole Sparrows ship the Black Pearl, but now he has lost the ship and his leg. He and Sparrow join forces together to try to reach the Fountain of Youth before Blackbeard and Angelica get there. The whole Fountain of Youth thing fizzles out at the end.
Depp is good as Sparrow but we have seen his tricks and ticks in the first three movies and nothing new is added this time out. He does perk up when Keith Richards appears in a cameo as Jacks father. We needed more of this pairing but we dont get it. Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom are nowhere to be seen in this movie and they are missed. Cruz and company are not good replacements.
The film is rated PG-13 for profanity and violence.
After you sit through the interminable film you sit through an even more interminable credits because there is supposed to be a key scene at the very end. Believe me it isnt worth the wait.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is the dregs of this series of movies. It isnt as funny, exciting or romantic as anything that went before it. Lets hope the franchise is now at rest and there will be no more sequels. Enough is enough!
I scored Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides a shipwrecked 4 out of 10.
