“Kingdom Of Heaven” (20th Century Fox)
Orlando Bloom stars in “Kingdom of Heaven,” a film about the Crusades that is directed by Ridley Scott of “Gladiator” fame. Well Mr. Bloom is no Russell Crowe and “Kingdom of Heaven” is no “Gladiator.” The action sequences here are similar but the plot and the performances are both a step down from the sword and sandal epic. This “Kingdom” should be deserted at the box office in just a few days. If it was meant to kick off the summer box office season, there might be some bad days ahead.
Bloom plays Balian, a blacksmith in England. One day he is approached by a man (Liam Neeson) who says he is his father. Balian never knew this man but learns he is a member of the nobility and a knight. He asks Balian to join him in a trip to Jerusalem to help protect the “kingdom of Heaven,” which Jerusalem is called, against the infidels.
Bloom goes to Jerusalem and meets King Baldwin (Edward Norton) as well as his sister Sibylla (Eva Green). He pledges his allegiance and enters battle to do as he has sworn. He also enters into a love affair with the married Sibylla.
Ridley Scott knows how to stage battle sequences, especially when viewed from a distance such as when hordes of troops converge on Jerusalem. But in the man to man combat he tends to film it in slow motion with blurry images which make it unclear as to who is doing what to who.
Scott also falls down in the romantic aspects of his story. Balian and Sibylla are supposedly instantly attracted to each other but you couldn’t prove it by what goes on on-screen. They have no charisma and their few scenes together are stilted and cold. So much for love during the Crusades.
Jeremy Irons and Brendan Gleeson are also in the cast but they have little to do except argue about the battles. Norton has only a brief screen appearance, and behind a mask at that, still he manages to make the King an interesting character. Green is all dark eyes and longing looks as Sibylla.
Then there is Orlando, the answer to a trillion teenage girls’ dreams. He is a sweet-faced young man who looks no more like a crusader than Tobey Macguire. This isn’t to say he couldn’t be believable in other roles, but a crusader I don’t think so.
The movie is rated R for violence.
“Kingdom of Heaven” is a blurry look at the fight for the city of Jerusalem during the Crusades. It lasts for two hours plus and still doesn’t involve you in the least. The audience gets to see a lot of catapulted fireballs but everything else is listless and boring.
“Kingdom of Heaven” is supposed to kick off the summer hits. Well fasten your seatbelts. It is going to be a bumpy ride.
I scored “Kingdom of Heaven” a hellish 4 out of 10.
