“Closer” (Columbia Pictures)
Can you imagine a better pedigree for a movie than Mike Nichols as director and Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Natalie Portman and Jude Law as the cast Then you add a hint of explicitly sexual dialogue mixed in with a rumor that Portman, the icon of Hollywood ingenues, would play a stripper complete with nudity. The roar of anticipation was so great that people were willing to drive miles just to reach the few cities where “Closer” was opening.
Well let’s hope that first weekend of showing brought in some big bucks because the backlash against this movie is tremendous. And well it should be. “Closer” has the wrong title. Drop the “C” and you have my opinion of the film and all who inhabit it.
Julia Roberts plays Anna, a photographer who drops in and out of marriage. She meets Dan (Law) after her first marriage has ended and re-connects with him during her second one. Dan has also been having a relationship with Alice (Portman) who works as a stripper while he works as a writer of obituaries.
Anna also meets Larry (Clive Owen) and he becomes obsessed with her. But he is also obsessed with finding sex on the Internet and getting involved with prostitutes. Still he somehow comes across as the most sane of these four characters in search of a happy ending.
Characters this despicable can still prove to be interesting, i.e. “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf” if they are well acted and have stimulating dialogue. In “Closer” the dialogue is pretentious and the acting is self-serving. Only Owen seems to really be into his role while Roberts and Law dabble at portraying amoral beautiful people. Portman manages to recite every line as if she was reading it off cue cards.
It takes about fifteen minutes to tire of this foursome and their romantic entanglements. That leaves you with about two more hours of pure endurance. Oh there are dirty words to stir things up, but these excursions into potty-mouthed profanities just come across as shock tactics that mean nothing.
The film is rated R for profanity, violence and nudity (not Natalie’s).
A good movie can be made better by star power but star power can not make a good movie. How bad is “Closer” Well let’s just say I would rather sit through Julia’s performance in “Mary Reilly” than sit through this mess of a movie again.
I scored “Closer” a get away from me 3 out of 10.
